


Exhibit G

by lalazee



Category: The Eagle | The Eagle of the Ninth - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Comedy, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 08:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalazee/pseuds/lalazee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Esca and Marcus are the most incompatible dorm roommates ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exhibit G

Exhibit A

  
“You  _threw away_  my  _top_?” Esca said in a decibel which Marcus had previously assumed only dogs and dolphins could fully comprehend.  
  
“To be fair, it doesn’t actually look like a real person’s shirt,” Marcus said, not looking up from his laptop. He had to finish this history paper before the weekend. The Eagles had a game on Saturday and he wanted his conscience clear of any neglected, nagging homework. “I thought it was like a rag or something.”  
  
“A rag.  _A rag_. That was Dolce and bloody Gabbana you fucking  _oaf_ , not some towel that you wipe your constantly sweaty body with!”  
  
Marcus frowned and jerked his shoulder for a covert sniff of his armpit. He didn’t smell _that_  bad. It was a clean sweat, not an un-bathed sweat. There was totally a difference.  
  
Esca stomped over to Marcus’ side of the room, with his eyes practically glowing blue in the frame of his rage-red face. Without a word, he scooped up Marcus’ sneakers from the floor, held them out with two fingers like he might contract swine flu from their stench – and chucked them out of the open window.  
  
“Hey!” Marcus scrambled from his chair and flung himself against the window ledge. “What the hell was that for?”  
  
“What?” Esca blinked at Marcus with an innocence that he probably hadn’t possessed since he was four years old.  
  
Marcus blinked. “You’re not even going to make up an excuse, are you.”  
  
“Don’t  _touch_  my things,” was Esca’s only reply as he jabbed a pale finger in Marcus’ face. “This is a warning.”   
  
“And what’s the punishment? Are you going to spray mousse in my eyes? Oil me up in the night so you can drag a pair of skinny jeans on me and I’ll suffocate a slow, painful death?”  
  
“ _I will roundhouse kick you in the fucking face_ ,” Esca said with a hiss and narrowed eyes.  
  
Marcus contemplated Esca’s stature. “Could your leg really make it up that high?”  
  
Esca’s growl and arm-flail of frustration was all Marcus needed to indicate that he’d won this round. Marcus might’ve even gloated a bit as Esca slammed the door behind him.  
  


Exhibit B

  
“We’re gonna get ants,” Marcus said from his bunk beneath Esca’s. A crumpled bag of Cheetos had sailed across the room just moments ago, only to miss the garbage can by a mile and spill neon orange crumbs all over the floor.  
  
“So?” Esca said from up top. There was a shift and a groan of the mattress. “I thought apes loved to eat insects and that.”  
  
“Guess you’d better watch out then. Annoying little mosquitoes like you are my favourite.”  
  
The last thing Marcus expected was a gargantuan textbook swinging from Esca’s bunk and pummelling Marcus square on the nose.  
  
“Ow –  _OW_. Jesus ow, what the  _ffff_  – stop throwing things! All the time! Why are you always _throwing_  shit places?”  
  
Esca was silent and undoubtedly smug from the bunk above.  
  
Marcus pouted because no one could see him and gently pinched the bridge of his nose. “I think you broke my nose with a philosophy book.”  
  
“What, do you want me to kiss it better or something?”  
  
“Or you could just  _stop_  – throwing – stuff.”  
  
“I’m afraid I can’t do that. Your face simply begs for large, blunt objects.”  
  
“Your mom begs for large, blunt objects.”  
  


Exhibit C

  
“Okay,  _dude_ , I’m not trying to cramp your style or anything – but could you wear clothes just, uh, more  _often_?” Marcus said as he walked into the room to find Esca stalking back and forth in tight black boxers while muttering lines to himself and gesturing with one hand.  
  
“No,” Esca said and turned away to concentrate on his script.  
  
“Right,” Marcus said dumbly. There really wasn’t much else he could add to the conversation.  
  


Exhibit D

  
“Go watch telly somewhere else,” Esca said with a flippant wave of his hand. His middle fingernail was painted dark purple.  
  
“I was here first, and you’re just reading a book.”  
  
Esca’s stare was icy and immobile. “I can’t read when you’re blasting whatever the fuck this shite is.  _Crabs Gone Wild_  or something.”  
  
“ _Deadliest Catch_ ,” Marcus said, and punched up the volume another notch.  
  
“ _That_ , yes. Make it stop.”  
  
“It’s my room too.”  
  
“Oh  _please_ ,” Esca said and rolled his eyes. “I’m not having this conversation.”  
  
“Lucky me,” Marcus said with a curve of lips. “Then we’re in agreement.”  
  
“No we aren’t.”  
  
“Agree to disagree.”  
  
“Not that either!”  
  
“This is a good episode. Someone gets a hook to the face.”  
  
“I’d rather get a hook to the face than exist in the same room as you for more than five minutes. You smell like cheap deodorant and virginity.”  
  
“ _Hey_ ,” Marcus said, and only briefly considered throwing the remote at Esca. He was above that. Totally.  
  
“Ohmygod, be quiet.”  
  
“I only said one word!”  
  
“I’m going to take my clothes off in tee minus five, four...”  
  
 _Deadliest Catch_  was not worth this. Marcus fled without a hint of shame.  
  


Exhibit E

  
Esca’s throaty moans woke Marcus up at ass-o’clock in the morning.  
  
Speaking of asses –  _someone’s_  was getting pounded  _not five freaking feet above him_. By the sounds of things, Marcus was fairly sure Esca was uh... enjoying it. A lot.  
  
Marcus felt his face go up in flame as he attempted to smother himself with a pillow. Even with down feathers clogging Marcus’ ears, he could still feel the bed shudder and hear the faintest tail-end of Esca’s hoarse gasp. Marcus’ dick twitched in his boxers – and yes, today was the day he would officially die through his own force of will. Because right now, death was certainly better option.  
  
Well if Esca had the balls to mortify him like this, Marcus could turn the tables too.  
  
“ _Hey_ ,” Marcus yelled as he thwacked his pillow at the top mattress. “ _Some_  people actually have classes in the morning. Not all of us get up at noon with a Red Bull and stumble into _theatre_  to pretend to be sad trees or whatever.”  
  
It was a pathetic fact that one of Marcus’ proudest moments was watching a naked dude fall off the bunk from pure shock and mortification. Then it quickly became one of the most traumatising moments as he found himself staring at the best midfielder on his soccer team.  
  
“ _Mike_? Jesus Christ, put on some pants! What the – no what,  _no_ , I don’t want to know. Oh God.”  
  
“ _Marcus_? I didn’t know this was – I didn’t know that you – fuck, man.  _Fuck_. Don’t tell any– “  
  
“I’m surrounded by fucking imbeciles!” Esca’s furious tone cut through the awkward eye contact between team captain and member.  
  
Clothes started to rain down onto Mike’s head, and Marcus simply slunk back into his bed, pulled the covers over his head and mumbled,  _not happening, not happening_. There was a lot of muffled swearing and bumping around and doors closing –  
  
And then there was the unmistakable impact of Esca jumping atop Marcus from above the blanket.  
  
“You bloody, buggering  _git_. If you  _ever_  do that again I swear to God I will post your phone number on Craig’s List for extreme pony play and watch the calls roll in.” Esca’s fists were coming down like hail, and the only defensive thing Marcus could do was roll them off the bed and pin Esca beneath the comforter.  
  
Which was actually not the  _best_  plan, because Marcus was hardly wearing anything, and he had no idea how clothed Esca was at this point either. Only the blanket separating them kept that information at bay. Thankfully.  
  
“ _Okay_ ,” Marcus said, slightly breathless from keeping Esca’s struggling to a minimum with the sheer force of his old high school wrestling skills. “First off, I have no idea what pony play is, and I never want to find out. Two, it’s freakin’  _Wednesday_ , man.”  
  
“Hump day.”  
  
“That’s not why it’s called Hump Day! We have classes in the morning. Well,  _I_  have classes in the morning. Do you know how many times I’ve woken up to the sound of – of  _body squelching_? Is that how they do things in Britain, or are you just an exhibitionist?”  
  
“I’m not going to stop having sex just because it disturbs your delicate breeder sensibilities,” Esca snapped and bucked his hips once.  
  
Marcus’ eyes crossed for one blissful moment before he blinked rapidly and squinted into the darkness. “What the heck is a  _breeder_?”  
  
“ _Nevermind_  – get the fuck off me you numpty! I will not hesitate to knee you in the balls.”  
  
“I’ll only get off you if you promise  _not_  to knee me in the balls. Or, I don’t know, whatever other frightening things go on in your mind. Don’t karate chop my dick.”  
  
“I wouldn’t  _dream_  of touching your dick.”  
  
“Great. Good.” Marcus swallowed. “I’m getting off now.”  
  
Esca’s quirked eyebrow was more instinctually sensed than seen. “Oh really? That was awfully quick. I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked.”  
  
“Ha- _ha_ ,” Marcus said dryly. He swiftly disengaged from Esca and made a mad dash for his bed with blanket in tow. The fact that he had a growing hard-on was  _not_  something he wanted to broadcast. Especially not to Esca, who might bite it off or something.  
  
Marcus didn’t spare Esca a glance – didn’t dare. He rolled on his side and faced the wall; listened to Esca clamour onto his own mattress and squeak the springs until he found a comfortable spot. There was silence long enough for Marcus to assume it was all over.  
  
Of course it was then that Esca said with quiet glee into the night, “You  _do_  know I’m going to be even louder next time, right? That’s a better punishment than any.”  
  
Marcus’ dick was at full attention now – the traitorous jerk.  
  
“Whatever,” Marcus said with as much disinterest as he could muster. He was  _not_  a good actor by any stretch of the imagination, but this was kind of imperative. “Figures that a theatre major would need an audience, anyway.”  
  
To that, Esca did not reply. Marcus wasn’t sure if that was a win or a very epic loss.  
  


Exhibit F

  
“If you listen to that Lady Googoo CD on repeat one more time, I –“  
  
“Gaga,” Esca said as he triumphantly double-clicked on the beginning on the album once more. His smile was almost frighteningly pleased.  
  
“Look.” Marcus took a steadying breath as he walked up to the bunk beds and met Esca’s eyes. “I’m not asking you to never play it, but it’s midterms and I’ve had that Hair song in my head for like three days now  _and I don’t even like it_.”  
  
“Aw.” Esca scooted along his bed so that he could loom over Marcus’ face. He patted Marcus on the head. “ _I_  like your hair, don’t worry.”  
  
Marcus refused to blush. “I meant the song.”  
  
“I know. I was just playing – your hair is awful. Far too much gel.”  
  
“Gee, thanks.”  
  
“Just leave it in its morning bedhead state. I assure you the girls will appreciate it more.”  
  
Marcus made a face. “I’m not looking for girls’ appreciation.”  
  
Then Marcus realised what that had sounded like – and it was clear by Esca’s widening eyes that he  _also_  knew what that sounded like.  
  
So Marcus did what any guy would do if their gay roommate found out that they were also gay – he booked it.  
  


Exhibit G (for Gay)

  
Marcus had crept back at a ridiculously late hour. He breathed a sigh of relief for the dark room and the quiet sound of Esca’s breath – the coast was clear. Marcus stripped off and slipped into bed, assuming that tomorrow he’d get flack for the whole awkwardly keeping the gay thing in the closet – and that was okay.  
  
Marcus might’ve been freaked out at the time, but in reality he hadn’t been  _hiding_  the fact. He simply hadn’t felt the need to broadcast his sexuality, nor did he particularly desire a boyfriend or a random hook-up between school and sports. There was plenty of time for that stuff in the future.  
  
But he’d come out with it, and no doubt Esca was smart enough to connect the dots. As long as Esca didn’t realise that Marcus was starting to get off on their tiffs, things could stay the same as ever.  
  
“Why did you never say anything?”  
  
Marcus froze at the quiet curiosity in Esca’s voice. “Uh. You didn’t ask?”  
  
“Would you have told me if I’d asked?”  
  
Marcus frowned into the dark. “No. It’s not really anyone’s business.”  
  
An annoyed huff shot through the shadows. “You let me go around believing –”  
  
“I have no idea what you do or don’t believe, Esca,” Marcus said. “And it doesn’t matter. I’m still the same.”  
  
“You are and you aren’t.”  
  
Marcus smiled into the night. “Sometimes you’re so obviously a theatre major.”  
  
“Shove off. I’m merely saying that  _you_ may still be the same, but  _things_  aren’t the same anymore.”  
  
Marcus regretted the inquiry the minute he made it. “How so?”  
  
“Well –” Esca’s voice pitched low. “Now I don’t have to hate you.”  
  
Marcus could barely hear his own voice over the thundering of his heart. “What?”  
  
“Now I won’t be that queer who hits on straight men,” Esca snapped impatiently. “Idiot. I wasn’t going to make a fool of myself in front of you by accident. Hanging out with you... would not have been a brilliant decision on my part.”  
  
“Wait,” Marcus choked out. “Wait – you  _like_  me?”  
  
The mattress above creaked, and then Esca was upside down and gripping the edge of the bed frame. Despite the darkness, his white grin was still evident.   
  
“Wanna fuck and find out?”  
  
Marcus shot up in the bed and clutched his sheets to his chest like a grandma. “ _What_  – no – I uh, no. I mean –” Marcus tripped over himself when he saw the disappointment crumple Esca’s expression. “I mean yes, yeah I do – but I can’t distract myself from school right now. You know?”  
  
“I don’t,” Esca said flatly.  
  
“Couldn’t I just,” Marcus shrugged, “Take you on a date instead?”  
  
“A date instead of a good buggering?” Esca said contemplatively. “Maybe. If you give me one thing.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Come closer.”  
  
Marcus did as he was told. Though he wasn’t surprised when Esca slipped one warm hand around the nape of Marcus’ neck and pulled him in for a slow, sloppy kiss – it still felt like perfection. Marcus’ skin buzzed with a new awareness, and his needy groan was shameless when Esca’s hot, swollen lips finally slipped away from his own.   
  
“Marcus.”  
  
Marcus could only hum contentedly in reply.  
  
Esca trailed his fingers through Marcus’ rumpled hair. “When we graduate you have to promise to fuck my brains out.”  
  
“Um.” Marcus wasn’t sure  _his_  brain was functioning right now. “ _Yes_.”  
  
“And Marcus?”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“You really do smell like a cheap, male prostitute with that body spray. Change it.”  
  
“I’m not even going to ask how you know what a male prostitute smells like.”  
  
“Good. It’s always better to keep the mystery alive in a relationship.”  
  
“More like I have a strong sense of self-preservation and you’re scary, but okay. Let’s go with your way.”  
  
“I thought you’d never say that.”  
  
As Marcus lay back in bed with a goofy smile, he was hit by the stark realisation that dating someone whom you were living with and saw half-naked on a daily basis was actually... not the brightest idea. At all.  
  
Oh God.


End file.
